INTRODUCING FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME...

Lil' Ms. J.!

(And guess what? She's revealing herself...)

Today is an aspiring author interview with Lil' Ms. J from Little Ms. J Writes! She just so happens to be my big sister and an awesome writer. She's just finished a memoir and is beginning the steps for finding an agent and getting published.

I chose the following picture because even though she sent me a buttload of pics, they looked too professional (i.e. boring). So this is what she's really like (chocolate in one hand and alcohol in the other...hehe). Without further adieu, I give you...

JEANETTE SCHNEIDER

When you were little what did you want to be when you grew up?

A ballerina, then a rock star and by puberty I wanted to be a DEA agent infiltrating Cuban drug operations. My undercover name was going to be Serena and I would have a dog named Jax. I would make the drug lords fall in love with me and then submit them with my judo chop. Oddly enough the most important thing to me in any of my aspirations was that I was able to fill out a pair of jeans.

What should people know about your writing style (blog vs book)?
My blog primarily shows my sense of humor and I find it so much easier to write funny then anything else. Since I had yellow teeth, translucent skin and a mad cowlick growing up I had to rely on my cunning wit and fantastic timing to make friends. Yes, they called me Casper and Butter Teeth, but they laughed at my punch lines. My book definitely shares my sarcasm, but I had to dig pretty deep and share some things that I typically keep private. You have to get into a pretty dark place to write through some aspects of your life. It has been the hardest thing I've ever done.

What is your favorite possession?

My big brain. Nothing material is more important than a bright mind. And you thought I was going to say my Michael Kors stilettos.

What is your inspiration/muse for writing?

I find inspiration in every aspect of life. I like to imagine that my muse is a little Tinkerbell-esque brat who flits in and out of my airspace, but in truth I'm a very observant person and tuned in to my surroundings. I typically walk away from an experience with a very different viewpoint than the person next to me. I tend to relay stories or experiences by the way they made me feel. I actually started writing as an adolescent when a close family friend passed and I found myself conflicted with how to deal with my feelings of loss. He gave me a gift.

Pitch me your current project.

"Catholics get to do whatever they want. They just have to confess, rub some beads and pray. It isn't fair."

So began many an argument with my father, an elder in our Jehovah's Witness congregation and a man of pure bloodline. I wish I could've seen where we were heading from my place in the audience, feet barely touching the floor. I would have wrapped him up in my wings and grown my adoration into a blanket for his heart. His eyes were kind, his voice was melodic and his countenance naive, never expecting his family would convert; my mother to fundamentalist alcoholism and his firstborn to faithlessness.

White Like Snow is my coming of age memoir and the journey from devout to devoured, Christian to orphan and broken to redeemed, sort of.

Where did the idea come from?

I've had several friends tell me that I should write a memoir and I always waved them off, instead concentrating on a lighter coming of age piece about growing up in my Aunt's shadow and a fictional Chick Lit story based on my friend's lives in Las Vegas. I started both, but as I would write I found White Like Snow would vomit itself onto the page. It was a story that sat behind my molars, dripped out of my fingers and couldn't be contained. It was time to let go of the other projects and give it a chance to breathe and take on life.

Who would you cast in your book's movie?

Dakota Fanning and Malin Ackerman as me. Vanessa Hudgens as you because she's just so darn cute. Robert Redford as dad. Barbara Hershey as mom.

What is your direction from here?

My real wicked top secret plan is to find myself in a social setting with a Literary Agent at the Backspace Writers Conference in New York. We will be discussing the state of the economy, Obama's administration and the future of literature. I will say something funny, engaging, if you will. Dream Agent will look at me, eyes suddenly clear, and wonder if we met in a different lifetime. He will ask for my manuscript and suggest we meet at St. Patrick's Cathedral (teaser from my book) and sign me.

Ok, fine. For real?

I plan to take this journey one day at a time. The passion to write, to make people laugh and to inspire is woven into my fabric. Each step has filled me up, made me all giggly and expectant. After ordering author business cards I changed the status on my Facebook profile, "I'm so excited that I could just explode. And if I did? Glitter and confetti everywhere." I will pursue representation for White Like Snow and just to keep things interesting I have started on a new and unnamed project; a collection of essays to make people laugh.

My favorite thing.